I Declared I'd Eat Him On Moving Day
Read to the end for SugarHey Swēt, I have a confession, a new girl moved into house 5 of my compound with her boyfriend, and I decided that same afternoon I would eat him.
I always do that, and I never disappoint.
Small context. Third year UNILAG, I lived in a six-flat compound in Yaba, tenants shared a courtyard. House 3 was mine, house 5 was empty until she moved in one Saturday with her matching furniture and her fine boyfriend doing the heavy lifting. I stood at my window watching him carry a wardrobe like it was cardboard.
Turned out he and I are from the same area back home.
Small world, small Naija. He clocked me the second she introduced us in the courtyard and gave me a look I understood immediately. She saw us greet, saw us share the "we're from same place" gist, and never thought twice after that. All the hallway smiles and small chats had cover from day one.
For three weeks it was just eyes and short greetings. Then one Wednesday afternoon he texted, said a guy from his set had an empty flat for the weekend and asked if I wanted to come smoke. He'd bring the wraps.
I agreed sharply. I'm no one to play with when I've decided.
Saturday came. His friend hung around for one wrap then remembered he had somewhere to be and stepped out.
He locked the door behind him.
The explicit rest is gated.
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Every confession Swēt publishes is real. We only ever retouch the little things, a name, a place, a small detail, so no one who trusts us with their confession is ever exposed. What's shared with Swēt stays safe with Swēt.